Employment based relocation can be both exciting and difficult. No one feels these emotions more starkly than the partner of the relocating employee who has to either accompany their partner or endure an enforced lengthy separation.
It’s rare to find a situation where couples are both relocating to the same place at the same time, so one party has to go it alone, no employment, no support network, a world of unfamiliarity and all at the bequest of somebody else’s employer.
It’s a strange and potentially tense situation that couples are placed in. Never has there been a more powerful example of the way in which the demands of modern employment can impact upon our lives.
Here is some guidance for the mobile partner.
MAKING SENSE OF IT
The speed of an enforced or career focused relocation can be disarming to even the most adaptable household. Just as life can seem happy, familiar and settled, a mobile employee’s partner can be forced to make wholesale changes to their circumstances.
People react in different ways to moving, some people are galvanised and excited and others react with sleepness nights and no shortage of tears. The whole concept of being forced to move can be very difficult to make sense of. You may understand and accept the often sound reasoning behind your partner’s desire to move but the reality is that the elements that make up your present life, the activities you may enjoy or people you love will be removed from you. For many the situation is akin to bereavement and such strong feeling can impact heavily upon the success of a move.
Many partners are unsure about what to expect during relocation and it's not surprising. According to relocation experts, most corporations don't have a true idea of what they're putting employees and their families through when they ask them to uproot and move. So how can employees know what to expect, let alone their partner?
BE ADAPTABLE, BE IN CONTROL
As the workforce becomes more diverse and as more consideration is given to employees' family responsibilities, greater assistance can be available to the spouse of a relocating employee. This should be available through the employer managing the relocation. If it’s not, it’s well worth asking about what could be offered.
Your role as partner will require you to be heavily involved in decision making and fact finding. When entering the unknown, knowledge is most definitely power. It’s important to remember that your partner is being spoon-fed a new life. They will arrive for work on their first day and much of it will be familiar to them, the office, the working patterns and the shape of their days. It’s an immediate comfort blanket that you unfortunately will not have the luxury of. Spending some time learning about where you will be travelling to, the culture, geography and climate will be helpful to you.
As daunting as this may sound, you have been provided with a fantastic opportunity to create a genuinely new life, temporary or otherwise. It’s a common complaint of mobile workers that whilst their location may change, their day to day tasks don’t. You have a position of privilege.
Take your time. As with all moves, there are so many things you need to do, your to-do list will seem never ending and you can easily become stressed. Don't try to accomplish everything at once. Make a list and divide it into three categories (a good relocation agent should take care of the major issues: travel, housing, shipping, etc).
» IMMEDIATE
- Begin consular procedures, request information on how to obtain your visa, residency and work permits before you leave. Consider renewing your passport and those of all accompanying family members. These should be valid, at least, until your next return to your country.
- Start informing yourself about your country of destination.
- Speak with the relocation service and ensure that they are well aware of your requirements.
» SECONDARY
- Work out what you plan to ship and what you intend to carry with you as luggage.
- Collating a list of contacts via friends, family and colleagues of people you can make contact with in your country of destination.
» FUTURE
- Organising connectivity (phone, internet) in your new country.
- Dealing with mobility issues, obtaining a car etc.
- Researching where you can continue activities you enjoyed at home in your new environment.
Set your own timetable. Remember, you are in control of this project.
THE LONG DISTANCE PARTNER
So what of those left behind? Those partners that take the decision to stay behind for the duration of their partner’s assignment? Well, you have possibly taken the bravest and hardest decision on all.
It’s worth making sure that if you are employed, your employer is aware of your circumstances. A conversation early on about your partner’s relocation can save you a host of problems later on. Don’t underestimate the effect your partner’s absence may have on you, your work and potentially your health. It’s not uncommon for partners left alone by mobile employee to experience feelings of isolation, jealously dependent upon their personal circumstances. An understanding employer may make arrangements which enable you to take extended leave or leave at short notice to see your partner.